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Warning signs when dating a new guy

Poor social skills can be corrected, but overt narcissism is almost impossible to cure.

You go to a great restaurant that is known for its awesome sushi or burgers or falafel and he orders a meal about as far off from the specialty as it could be – and then complains throughout the meal that the chef doesn’t have a clue when it comes to teriyaki chicken when the restaurant is known for its Cajun gumbo.

If she shares her views on politics, religion, human nature, diversity, money, whatever -- and you get the feeling that there are some basic fundamental differences in your belief systems, trust your gut!

Potential Hazard Ahead: Not every difference of opinion is – or should be – a deal breaker, but when the differences bring up warning signs in your own mind, heed them.

Then when all of her demands are seemingly met, she complains that the foam isn’t thick enough or the soy milk is too hot.

Potential Hazard Ahead: When someone reels off a long list of demands to her server, she may also be the kind of person who makes unspoken demands on a partner.

Potential Hazard Ahead: It can be a lot of fun to hang out with someone who likes to take the proverbial “path less travelled,” but when they don’t like where it leads them and they look for someone else to blame for their decision, it may indicate that when things go wrong, you might end up the scapegoat more often than you’d like.

You go to a cool new coffee bar and the list of demands she places on the barista when she places her order seems to go on and on.

His appeal may actually be his downfall if he’s bringing out your “caretaker” side.You meet up for a cup of coffee as a “pre-first date” meet-up, and instead of inviting you to talk about yourself, she spends the hour telling you all about herself.Potential Hazard Ahead: Unless you were feeding her the questions and she was giving you the answers, it’s likely that her interest in herself will always outweigh her interest in a boyfriend’s life.He admits to being a “sensitive guy,” and you realize just “how” sensitive when he casually mentions that the break-up happened eleven months ago.Then he confesses that your smile or your hair or your laugh or whatever reminds him a little of the ex.Trying to win your heart by being interested and caring is one thing, but trying to win your sympathy as he talks about his ex is something else entirely.She spends the first date elaborating on how much she hates her mother or her family or her job or how she’s been wronged by boyfriends or other friends in the past.You quiet the pup as you open the door and date complains, “Whoa – you need to get a muzzle for that animal” or your cat hisses as soon as she sees him on the doorstep and your date immediately states, “I hate cats.” Potential Hazard Ahead: While your pup may be the most awesome pup ever, converting non-dog lovers can be difficult and when he’s already dissing the pet before a formal introduction, chances are that he’s not going to appreciate the companionship of your faithful pup or kitten.She spends the evening making sure you get to know as much as possible about her and her life instead of taking time to learn about you.He just can’t manage to stay focused on you and the conversation or the meal or the film or the music longer than a couple of minutes before checking his phone -- you don't know if he's checking a game score, the exchange rate, or firming up plans for his second "first date" of the evening.Potential Hazard Ahead: His ability to focus on the potential relationship that the two of you are trying to establish on the first date can be a good indication of his future willingness to be emotionally present in the future.

94 comments

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